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Red Thread, Endless Story

An ancient Chinese proverb speaks of a silken red thread of destiny which connects one person to another. It is said that this magical cord may tangle or stretch out but never break. At the wedding I was reminded of this traditional practice at the sight of a red thread tied up around the wrists of the bride and groom. The same red thread also ties up two pair of coconuts, which pronounced as “ye zi”, symbolize “grandfather and son” with the implication of bearing lots of children.

“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle,
but it will never break.”

The red thread comes up in the reading of The Teahouse Fire by Ellis Avery today. The legend has since also become a popular myth in Japanese culture and other East Asian cultures.

“There’s a red thread that ties you to the person you’re going to marry. I thought Akio was at the other end of mine, but he wasn’t. It’s not up to me. Do you understand? So it doesn’t matter.” [138]

My mother used to tell me that love and marriage at her times were very simple. There weren’t that many places where one can meet people. Parents usually kept curfew that girls had to come home earlier than Cinderella did. Their future husbands might be a neighbor, a co-worker, or a family relation that paid visit at the house. I can’t help wondering why, with so much possibility for connection, aren’t people feel more connected to one another on a personal, intimate level? Did the scarcity of connections then actually make it easier for people to commit to a relationship? I see a world of people who are fearful of committing, who are haunted by their failure, and whose red threads are all entangled.

Endless Story – Yuna Ito

If you haven’t changed your mind
Then I want you by my side Tonight

I’m so tired of always having to bluff
Everytime I think about you baby, I feel so young
If I could just tell you I miss you
It’s so hard to say I’m sorry

You see, I want to sing this song, not for just anyone
but just for you
An ENDLESS STORY that keeps on shining
Always, I wanna show you, forever and ever

Memories of our time together
this way, they don’t go away

Once I knew that the warmth between us had disappeared,
gentle tears started to spread over my chest
This is not where it ends, I’m missing you
please don’t let go of my hand

You see, I wish I could sing this song, just for you
just one more time
An ENDLESS STORY of undying love
tell me why, please tell me, forever and ever

You see, I want to sing this song, not for just anyone
but just for you
An ENDLESS STORY that keeps on shining
Always, I wanna show you, forever and ever

You see, I wish I could sing this song, just for you
just one more time
An ENDLESS STORY of undying love
tell me why, please tell me, forever and ever

A Moment of Thought


其實我怕你的好感基於我修養 其實最怕你的私心窺准我體諒
無人問我寂寞盡頭何處去養傷 原來是我的心境高到變為 偶像

I paused and wrote down these thoughts that encroached my mind during commute. It’s one of those awakening moment, like sharp blade of sun ray piercing through the clouds–Matt’s moment.

I know some men who spend their whole lives searching for that never ending excitement…becoming lost in the thrill of being the hunter and taking the captive. Never realizing what they have missed, ignored or passed up…what was offered right before them. They never see the real fire of love or allow themselves to become lost in another’s embrace…. Sometimes, there is nothing bigger or more powerful then the little things that we share in our-lives with each other. The boundaries of love are endless. It can be amazing, it can truly hurt, but without experiencing it, one has not lived fully. Love is what means to be human. Love is the meaning of life. Love is the path to happiness. Love is the greatest challenge, the deepest depth, farthest horizon, and the noblest aspiration. Even if the love is unrequited, or unappreciated, like what she is singing in the song, one still has to love Love never fails.

**I’m frightfully busy with reading all the final papers and portfolios from my Russian Literature class, which concluded last Thursday as they clapped over the film of The Master and Margarita. I’ve got two more weeks of Freshman Composition, and meanwhile I’ll have to catch up with blogging, attending to your comments and reading your blogs. I’ll post Tuesday Thingers tomorrow.

Ocean Deep

It’s my habit to set the radio on a timer at night. I’d fall asleep on the easy-listening tunes that gently airs out into the dark room after I have turned in for the night. Last night the silky, sexy voice of Cliff Richard seeped to my earshot. Ocean Deep. The tune has been a weakness, a tear-jerker, a stinger. It was no more than just another catchy tune when I first heard it in the 80s, then the magnitude of its impact on me has inevitably grown as my dating life has become horrifyingly assimilated to the lyrics.


Love, can’t you see I’m alone
Can’t you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask – a little kindness
In the night
Please don’t leave me behind
No – don’t tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask and that is all

Oh love I’ve been searching so long
I’ve been searching high and low
A little love is all I ask – a little sadness
When you’re gone
Maybe you need a friend
Only please don’t let’s pretend
A little love is all I ask and that is all

I wanna spread my wings – but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep – I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings – in my –
Solitary room

Ocean deep – will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine Ill keep – ocean deep

Love can’t you hear when I call
Can’t you hear a word I say
A little love is all I ask
A little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone?
I’ve got a heart without a home

A little love is all I ask – and that is all

I wanna spread my wings – but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep – I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings – in my –
Solitary room
Ocean deep – will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine Ill keep – ocean deep

I’m so lonely lonely lonely…
Maybe…

Don’t worry–I didn’t cry myself to sleep. 🙂 It was just a reflection of reality–a call that I should no longer dwell on all the negatives of relationship. Without doubt man’s heart is as deep as the ocean, and to find that special someone is like searching for a needle in an ocean. The song is just one of the many attributes in life that helps shape who I am. A beautiful song. Why is it that the most beautiful romantic tunes are always sad?

Toss in the Heart

61.jpg

That’s his shadow on the beach.

I don’t know if I’ll call it a rebounce, or maybe it’s just an illusion. Five months after the split, we went to Hawai’i together, spent a lot more time than all the months combined when we were dating. All the heart-to-heart talk, the slouching on the couch watching a DVD, the drive around the island, and the special birthday dinner–the vital signs of getting back together. The worst thing was that I had never expected I’d have fallen back for him. I thought I have taken a leap and got over the romantic relationship.

I feel like I’ve been no more than revolving around the loop. I haven’t even broken away from that intimate tie and be off the tangent to single life. I have been so self-deceived that I have given him up. During his birthday dinner at his favorite restaurant, under the spell of wine, I quickly changed tack and talked about how much of a blast the trip had been and cut him off from divulging the real reason of the split.

Not so much that I couldn’t the truth begetting the split as the fear of spoiling the vacation. Sometimes it’s better to not be in the know. My feeling is that he still cares for me and loves me more than he’s able yet to admit. The two long-term relationships in the past still haunt him and make him flinch at commitment. At the same time, I don’t want to be pushy and aggressive, just letting things take the natural course.

I almost want to tell him that I didn’t really fall in love with him until about a month before he decided to split. That, was really tough time for me.When I told him it will be difficult to find someone else, I spoke the gut-wrenching truth. He’s the best I’ve ever found.